Hello, good morning, happy Monday, and welcome to this thing.
I tried to wait to find out if it’s a bones day or not, but it was too late this morning. Also, Carrot got some bad news.
The Main Tea
This is the section where I tell you the big thing(s) on the Internet that are intriguing me.
Honestly, it was Halloween and that took up most of the Internet mental capacity. The main tea IMO is also the couple of the week, so pls scroll further.
Hot Take of The Week
This is the section where I talk about my opinions, but even more than in the rest of the newsletter.
Halloween, like all holidays, should be opt-out.
Hear me out — I love holidays, personally — but I know a lot of people don’t love them, or don’t love certain ones. And most people who feel that way don’t want to yuck anyone else’s yum around a holiday, but also feel sad/annoyed/whatever when it’s brought up to them.
So my pitch is a universal opt-in/opt-out language around holidays so everyone can be happy and have a great time, however it works best for them.
(I understand in practice this would probably get very Black Mirror in vibe, but it would make a lot of people feel better probably…)
People Who Are Dating, Who They Are, Why It Matters (Or Doesn’t), + If I Think It’s Real or PR
This is the section that explains itself super clearly in the title.
Anna Sitar and Bru from the radio
Anna Sitar, @annaxsitar, came up on TikTok in the last two years, for her enthusiastic “Another day, another Starbies!” videos and conversations/skits around relationships and daily life. About six months ago, her long-term, long-distance boyfriend around whom Anna centered a lot of her content, ended things, collectively breaking the Internet’s heart. Anna was sad for a while, and then her content perked back up again. She was laughing more… and hinting that there was a new mans behind the scenes helping out with that.
Anna did the relationship soft launch — mentioning this man, then showing a side of a hat, a thumb, and as of yesterday, his whole body (minus his head).
The thumb was key here, because as we know, fans on the Internet are creepy af, and they fully figured out who Anna’s new guy was FROM THE SHAPE OF HIS THUMB. They also looked at tagged pictures and whatnot, but the true hypothesis came from his thumb, which is wacky and terrifying and also fun.
The man? Bru on the radio. Bru is a radio host who came up on TikTok in the last year for his follower-led challenges on what silly things he can say in between songs, playing on the idea that everyone zones out when the hosts are talking. He grew a following quickly (it’s also helpful that he’s super cute), and seems like a generally humble, nice dude.
At first, the couple avoided the Internet sleuths who had identified their relationship, but now, they’re in on the joke. Bru posted a video where followers requested he tell a secret, and knowing full-well they meant his relationship with Anna, he said something completely different and very silly instead. Anna has done similar things, liking funny comments about them but never saying a word.
UNTIL YESTERDAY. Given that Anna got popular for her Starbies videos, it made sense for her to dress as a barista. And now that she has Bru to literally be Cold Bru… When I say the internet was begging, I mean it. And they delivered. Please see this wonderful joy that is not fully exposing their relationship but fully is. The joy they seem to have is adorable and sweet.
Trendy Toks
This is the section where I tell you about trends or sounds or whatever I want related to TikTok.
Choose Your Hamilton Dance — Calling allllll Broadway fans! This one’s for you. Since Hamilton re-opened, one of the cast members has been using her open dance time during the song The Reynold’s Pamphlet to do TikTok dances at the request of her followers. She’s done Berries & Cream and WAP, amongst others, and then has a castmate film it so we get to see the absolutely ridiculous final result. It’s hugely worth it. 10/10 Recommended Watch.
The Snail — I mentioned this snail last week, but it seems that more people are ending up on SnailTok, if you will. This last video I got served has over two million likes, which means that it’s a private joke on the platform, but it’s still an inside joke you have with TWO MILLION PEOPLE around the world. That’s pretty cool.
A Thing I’m Personally Super Pumped About + Why
This is the section where I blab about something that gives me joy and energy rn.
CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
I am an early Christmas person and I have no regrets about that, but really I’m just hype for the holiday season and shopping and all the happy joyful decorations AND the winter Starbucks drinks which are objectively incredible.
Exposing Myself Just a Little Bit
This is the section where I give you one tiny glance into my For You Page, which exposes me and the depths of my personality just a little too much.
I got onto super lame straight white boy dating tok and I can’t figure out why or how to get off it. Someone send help.
Before we go, one more ask for you — comment people whose names you’ve heard but have no context for who they are, what they do, or who they’re connected to… I’ll fill in the deets for you in a later newsletter.
THANKS FOR READING! And remember, there is literally no reason to follow anything Barstool, ever. Just don’t.
Hasta la pasta,
Emma
^ Use this button to give your friends and fam my expert internet opinion too. You know they need it.