welcome to the internet
if you didn't sing that in the style of Bo Burnham, congratulations, you need this newsletter
I’d like to start us off today by thanking our lord and savior, Lil Nas X1, for his contributions to the culture via music, business partnerships, and most importantly, TikTok collabs with Bella Poarch2.
Now let’s get into it…
The Main Tea
This is the section where I tell you the big thing(s) on the Internet that are intriguing me.
First and foremost, if you still don’t know about Couch Guy, read this article. I’m not writing more because other people already have, but he’s sus and deserved to be dumped, and his girlfriend better get a free BetterHelp or TalkSpace partnership for her public trauma.
In much more important news, literally nothing happened this week. I don’t know if I was just actually doing things in real life and missed it, but nothing wild is going on online rn, besides how Facebook and Instagram and WhatsApp all shut down for a day last week… But that’s not really interesting and has been covered by every possible publication already.
Hot Take of The Week
This is the section where I talk about my opinions, but even more than in the rest of the newsletter.
~everything is a meme~
That’s right, I said it. Literally everything, everywhere, all the time, is a meme. Hear me out:
A meme is defined as “an idea, behavior, or style that spreads by means of imitation from person to person within a culture and often carries symbolic meaning representing a particular phenomenon or theme” — Wikipedia
This means, functionally, that everything we do or say or build that is based off a prior thing that existed in our culture is effectively a meme. So the memes on the internet are memes, but so is the newest iPhone and so is how language evolves over time and so are new high faves and so is how everyone has the same jokes about the last year that slowly evolve but somehow everyone is still saying the exact same things.
“Hope all is well?! We’re all just existing, how dare they hope things are well in this world! It should be ‘Hope you’re making it through’!”
People Who Are Dating, Who They Are, Why It Matters (Or Doesn’t), + If I Think It’s Real or PR
This is the section that explains itself super clearly in the title.
Olivia O’Brien and Logan Paul :)
Olivia O’Brien is a singer, commonly known for the song i hate u, i love u, but more recently for songs like Jocelyn and NOW. She’s close friends with some of the top Insta influencers like Stas (a.k.a. @stassiebaby or Anastasia Karanikolaou) and Kels (a.k.a. @fatherkels or Kelsey Calamine).
Logan Paul is a controversial YouTuber, known for his horrific vlog in Japan’s suicide forest where he showed the bodies of victims and later half-apologized, and also for being the brother of also-controversial YouTuber, Jake Paul. For the record, Logan seems to be improving as a human and is definitely the less-bad brother at the current moment. ALSO he did start the YouTubers/Internet celebrities boxing trend, which has been noted as the reason boxing has seen a resurgence of popular attention, so I will give him that. The man knows where the money is, and is willing to do what it takes to get the bag.
NOW, into their relationship. We know they’re doing NSFW things, but how do we know they’re dating? Well for one, Olivia got brought into a *gag* Barstool podcast by Logans BFF, since she was just in the other hotel room next door with Logan, in LONDON which is very much not where she would be unless she was traveling with them. ALSO, fellow YouTuber and kinda-ex-wife of Logan’s brother Jake, Tana Mongeau, dropped the tea on these two dating again on a podcast (I can’t remember which and I can’t find it, I’m working on it, apologies).
The important thing to note with these two is that this isn’t the first time they’ve been linked. The first was in early 2020, before Logan started dating Josie Canseco3, and the result of that fling was Olivia’s song Jocelyn:
Also yeah, I think this is real. I don’t think it’ll last. That’s all.
Trendy Toks
This is the section where I tell you about trends or sounds or whatever I want related to TikTok.
Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me
A Thing I’m Personally Super Pumped About + Why
This is the section where I blab about something that gives me joy and energy rn.
THE PRINCESS SWITCH THREE BABYYYYYYYYY!!
Idk if anyone else is pumped about this, but The Princess Switch is truly the most insanely chaotic Christmas movie series ever created, and they’re making a THIRD.
The first one featured TWO Vanessa Hudgens4, and the second featured THREE Vanessa Hudgens. This one apparently still only has three, although I would love to see how four Vanessa Hudgens would work. Anyway… I’ll be over here charting out the Netflix Christmas Movie Cinematic Universe (spoiler: they have an entirely different Europe with at least four extra countries5).
Recommended Follows of the Week
This is the section where I tell you who to watch on the Internet.
Briggs Edwards — a UNC frat pledge who had to make embarassing TikToks and ended up going viral. Now he does TikToks with star UNC sports players and is living his best life.
Christina Stratton - a law student living her best Elle Woods life, showing off her peppy, pink outfits, how she balances work and school, study tips, and more.
Meme Account of the Week
This is the section where I give you one more new meme account to follow.
@nolitadirtbag :) You’re welcome.
Before we go, one more ask for you — comment people whose names you’ve heard but have no context for who they are, what they do, or who they’re connected to… I’ll fill in the deets for you in a later newsletter.
THANKS FOR READING! And remember, there is literally no reason to follow anything Barstool, ever. Just don’t.
Hasta la pasta,
Emma
^ Use this button to give your friends and fam my expert internet opinion too. You know they need it.
You really have to know Lil Nas X. He topped the charts with Old Town Road, then Montero (Call Me By Your Name), Industry Baby, and even more hits. He predicts and plans mass media and consumer reactions around all his major content plays for double the earned media and attention. He’s also the new Chief Impact Officer of Taco Bell, which is sick.
One of the most popular TikTokers on the planet, with 83.6M followers. Her iconic song Build a B**ch charted and is an absolute bop and a half. She’s also the cousin of a longer-term popular influencer, Bretman Rock!
Jose Canseco’s daughter. Jose is a baseball player who did steroids and now tries to expose other people online. JOSIE started on a YouTube show called Summer Break, which is iconic and I would highly recommend you watch, and then dove deep into modeling and then influencing shortly after. She’s known as a LA party girl, but who knows tbh, we don’t know her life.
Vanessa Hudgens is a deep Millennial so y’all should know who she is. Star of High School Musical, ex of Zac Efron and Austin Butler, witchy Coachella queen.
I need people to lmk if you’re interested in this Netflix Christmas Movie Cinematic Universe situation. It consists of the Princess Switch series and A Christmas Prince series and maybe others that I can’t remember rn, but I will be making the sacrifice and doing research this week.